This 1 DBT Mindfulness Skill Can Change Your Life

Philadelphia DBT Therapy: The Mindfulness “What” Skill of Observing

You may have heard about DBT or Dialectical Behavior Therapy and how it can be life-changing. You may have been told you need to have DBT to help you deal with your problems in your life. It can be really confusing to understand what DBT is and how it can help people create a life that’s worth living.

In this series of blog posts, I’ve been digging into DBT Skills Training, specifically focusing on DBT Core Mindfulness Skills. While you may have heard about the benefits of mindfulness before, you may still be confused.

In my last blog post, I examined the DBT Mindfulness “Wise Mind” Skills. In case you missed it, you can read it here. In short, Wise Mind is built on the concept that we all have an inner sense of wisdom. When we are able to access our Wise Mind, we are then able to behave wisely.

DBT Core Mindfulness Skills

Just to review, the three DBT Core Mindfulness Skills include “Wise Mind” Skills, the “What” Skills, and the “How” Skills.

For today, I’m going to begin by referencing James Esmail, PsyD, who, when teaching his clients about the “What” and “How” Skills, would say, “I’m now going to introduce you to your new six best friends, which are Observe, Describe, Participate, Non-Judgmentally, One-Mindfully, and Effectively”. I cannot agree more about his assertion. Those referenced six “best friends” can change the course of your life in the direction of creating a life worth living.

DBT Mindfulness “What” Skills

When we talk about DBT Core Mindfulness Skills, the “What” skills are “what” you do when you practice mindfulness. In other words, when you practice mindfulness, you observe your present experience, you describe your current experience, and you participate fully in your present experience.

DBT Core Mindfulness Skill of Observing

In essence, to observe is being able to notice what you’re observing without wanting to change it. It’s paying attention to whatever’s coming in through your senses- what you’re seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling/sensing via touch, and/or tasting in this moment. While simplistic in nature, don’t mistake observing as an easy thing to put into practice.

The idea here is that you’re paying attention to what’s coming in through one of your senses and not putting words on it, labeling it in any way, or saying anything about it in your mind. It’s literally just observing.

Why observe?

When we practice mindfulness by observing, we are living life with our eyes wide open. It allows us to experience life by paying attention.

As human beings, we are constantly thinking. Thoughts are continuously going through our minds. Most people struggle with getting caught up in our constant barrage of thoughts, judgments, assumptions, and head trash. Because of this, we are missing out on experiencing life by becoming sucked into our endless “mind chatter”.

When we are able to mindfully observe, it can bring some joy back into our lives.

One way to think about observing is to take a stance of curiosity.

Have you ever noticed how small children, when faced with something they’ve never encountered before, just seem to absorb their experience? It’s like they’re in a state of awe- just taking it all in. They don’t have the words to describe their experience, nor were they trying to change it. They’re simply observing.

Another example is for those of us who have pets. Have you ever noticed that when you brought your pet cat or dog home for the first time, they just took everything in with a sense of curiosity? They were just soaking it all up with a sense of wonder.

A common metaphor used in DBT Skills Training to teach observing is to think of your mind as a Teflon pan, the kind of pan that nothing sticks to. You notice the thoughts, distractions, sensations— everything, that’s coming through your mind and just “slip” through, just like food doesn’t stick to a Teflon pan.

Homer Simpson: The Epitome of Mindlessness

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One way to understand the concept of the DBT mindfulness skill observing is to understand what it is not; in other words, the opposite of being mindful.

I recently began binging on the TV show, The Simpsons. As I’ve been enjoying the series, and laughing along at the show’s absurdity, I became aware of how Homer Simpson is like the epitome of what it means to be “mindless”. Homer’s behavior is so often mindless, at which point when he does become aware, is often followed by yelling his signature phrase, “D’oh!”

There are countless examples of how Homer portrays being oblivious and not observing himself or his surroundings. One example of this can be seen each time you watch the opening theme of the show when Homer is completely unaware that a piece of nuclear waste falls into his pants before he leaves work for the day!

How to practice mindful observing

Observing can be done both internally and externally. When you practice observing internally, it means you’re focusing on what’s going on inside of you. It’s experiencing what’s happening in your body. For practicing external observing, you focus on what’s going on around you.

Internal Mindful Observing

One of the most common ways people practice the skill of mindful observing is when they observe their own breath through meditation. As in, observing the breath as it comes into your body, following it all the way through as it reaches your lungs, and then observing it as it leaves your body.

Another way to practice internal observing is to pay attention to different sensations you experience in your body. For example, start by just noticing the sensation of your hand as it’s touching a table, or perhaps, becoming aware of the sole of your left foot as it makes contact with the ground beneath you.

While some people are pretty good at observing themselves internally, a lot struggle with this. If you’re one of those people, you can start by focusing on observing externally.

External Mindful Observing

There are many ways in which to practice observing outside of yourself. For example, for those of you who have young children, you can simply observe your child doing whatever it is your child is doing. If your kiddo is playing, you observe him or her playing. You’re not trying to change what your child is doing, only observing. This particular mindfulness practice is one that I loved to do when my daughter was little. It brought me such joy.

Another option is to observe something in nature. This could be as simplistic as sitting on a park bench or in your garden and just observing the flowers around you or the trees in front of you. You’re not saying to yourself, “that’s an oak tree” or “that’s a pretty red rose”. You’re simply viewing it with wonder and curiosity.

When you practice the DBT Core Mindfulness “What” Skill of Observing, you may notice things you may have missed before. Observing is one beneficial way you can practice mindfulness. When you observe, it can help you find inner peace and live your life with your eyes wide open, by purposely and intentionally experiencing life.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy in Philadelphia

If your life is being affected by intense emotions, relationship toxicity, panic attacks, debilitating worry, or previous trauma, there is hope.

Learning how to implement mindfulness practice into your life can be beneficial in regulating emotions, coping with past trauma, handling painful relationships, and debilitating anxiety.

Philadelphia DBT Therapist

As a DBT therapist, I specialize in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which includes DBT Skills Training, for the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder and anxiety therapy.

If you’re wondering whether learning mindfulness could help you, please reach out today. I offer free, 15-minute video consultations for DBT therapy, BPD treatment and therapy for anxiety. Schedule your Philadelphia DBT therapy consultation by calling 717-685-5074 or book your own consultation for Dialectical Behavior Therapy by going HERE.