Looking for DBT in Philadelphia? You'll Need to Know These 2 Things.

Philadelphia DBT: 2 Things You Need to Know

You’ve been miserable for a long time and your life feels so full of perpetual suffering. You’re so damn tired of people telling you to just “suck it up” and that you “aren’t trying hard enough”. How can people not understand that you’re in a living hell? You want to throw in the towel and just give up.

Then, you hear about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). You’re scared to feel hopeful because everything else you’ve tried didn’t help and you don’t want to be let down yet again.

I’m not gonna lie.

DBT is hard AND has been shown to help so many people who have “failed” their prior attempts in therapy.

Here’s the thing-

Dialectical Behavior Therapy has been shown to be effective in the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and a variety of other mental health problems. DBT continues to remain the “treatment of choice” for BPD. One of the reasons for this, I believe, begins with the beliefs (assumptions) that DBT therapists hold about DBT and their clients.

In my prior posts, I’ve written about the 1st DBT assumption, “Clients are doing the best they can.” If you missed it, you can click here to read the full article. The 2nd DBT assumption is “Clients want to improve.”, and the 3rd DBT assumption is “Clients need to do better, try harder, and be more motivated to change.” To read that full post, click here. Today, I’m going to shed some light on the next 2 assumptions to help you learn more about how DBT stands apart from other forms of therapy.

4th DBT Assumption

“Clients may not have caused all of their own problems but they have to solve them anyway”

The reality is that life can sometimes be extremely unfair. This assumption puts into words that even though you may not have caused all of your problems, that you are ultimately responsible for solving them.

A fairly common myth about therapy, in general, is that somehow the therapist you’re working with will “cure” you of whatever’s bothering you; that somehow the therapist will provide some advice on what to do, and then once you follow that advice, “poof”, you’re better. Oh, how I wish this happened. Unfortunately, this is not true. If you go into therapy believing you’ll feel better immediately after your therapy sessions, you will be disappointed.

There will be times when you’ll probably feel better after your therapy session. There will also be times, after a session, when you may feel like sh*t. The idea here is that therapy isn’t about finding a miracle and “curing” you of all of life’s problems.

YOU will also be required to put in the work. 

As a DBT therapist, I hold the belief that even though my client may not have caused her situation, she’s still responsible for solving it. As much as I would want it to be so, therapists cannot save clients.

What I will do is support and challenge you. I will teach you the skills you need to help you solve your problems, and you will ultimately be responsible for changing your own behavioral responses & altering the environment around you. This means that simply showing up for your therapy sessions will not be enough.

DBT will be difficult AND can be the way to bring you back from hell.

It may help you to think of it this way—

You’ve probably heard of the parable “Give a person a fish, that person will eat for a day. Teach a person to fish and they’ll have the skills to eat for a lifetime.”

Let’s break this down to help explain how it relates to the 4th DBT assumption.

Think about the “person” above as a “client”, the “hunger” as the client’s “problem”, and “fishing” as the “solution”.

As a DBT therapist, I believe that the person may not have caused her “hunger”. Further, I believe that the person above will ultimately have to solve her “hunger”. My role as a DBT therapist is not to “save” that person from “being hungry”, but to teach her to “fish” to help her solve her own “hunger”.

As a DBT therapist, I hold the assumption that my client is doing the best she can at the moment. Again, when using the metaphor above, I’m not going to blame her for being “hungry”, or tell her that she’s not trying hard enough and wants to be “hungry”. I also know that talking about what caused her to be “hungry” will only take the focus off of what she needs to do to solve her “hunger”.

So, it’s my job as my client’s DBT therapist, to analyze what’s getting in the way of her “solving her hunger”. It could be discovered that my client doesn’t know anything about “fishing” and part of my job is to help my client solve her “hunger” by teaching her “how to fish”.

Continuing with this metaphor, as a DBT therapist, I cannot save my client each time she’s “hungry” by producing the “fish”. As with learning any new skill, learning to “fish” will probably be difficult at first and will require a lot of practice. My client may lack many skills needed for “fishing”, such as where to go “fishing”, or how to hold the “fishing rod”. My client may become very tired of learning and practicing “fishing”. There will probably be days when “fishing” feels too hard for her.

DBT Skills Training and DBT Therapy are hard and will take a lot of work.

It’s super important to know that as a DBT therapist, I am not able to save my clients or spend time focusing on problems that they did not cause, but I will help them learn how to solve those problems which are causing them so much pain.

5th DBT Assumption

“The lives of suicidal, borderline individuals are unbearable as they are currently being lived.”

During my work with clients, I am well aware that my clients are often in excruciating, emotional pain. To deny this and ask my clients to commit to making changes, is like having them commit to living with more misery and suffering.

Who would want to do that?

As a DBT therapist, I believe that my clients’ lives are unbearable as they are currently being lived.

“They are indeed in a living hell. If patients’ complaints and descriptions of their own lives are taken at all seriously, this assumption is self-evident. Given this fact, the only solution is to change their lives.”

— Marsha Linehan, PhD.

When you work with me, I will not ask you to commit to continuing a life full of misery and suffering, but rather, will commit to helping you create a life that’s worth living.

Your Philadelphia DBT Therapist

Dialectical Behavior Therapy can help you find a way out of hell. As a DBT therapist, I know that you’re desperate to find solutions to your emotional pain. DBT isn’t about existing in life while continuing to be in misery. It is about creating a life worth living.

There is hope with DBT. It will be hard and it will be worth it.  

Outpatient DBT Therapy in Philadelphia

If you’re ready to find relief from emotional pain brought on by relationships, trauma, and intense anxiety, please reach out today.

I specialize in the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder using DBT, trauma therapy, and counseling for anxiety. I offer free, 15-minute, video consultations for DBT therapy in Philadelphia. BOOK YOUR DBT THERAPY CONSULTATION.