Finding Balance with DBT Amid Holiday Chaos
Embracing Holiday Chaos and Finding Balance with DBT
The holiday season is often depicted as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. For many people, especially those dealing with borderline personality disorder (BPD), the holidays can also bring up feelings of stress, loneliness, and emotional turmoil. The pressure to feel happy and connected can be overwhelming, and when reality doesn’t match those expectations, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing.
It’s December and you’re surrounded by the festive decorations, holiday music, and the buzz of people preparing for celebrations. Yet, you feel an emptiness inside. You’re invited to gatherings, but the thought of attending fills you with anxiety. On one hand, you want to be part of the joy and connection. On the other, you feel isolated and misunderstood. You keep asking yourself why you can’t just enjoy the holidays like everyone else.
This internal conflict is common for people with BPD, and it’s where Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can offer significant help. The “D” in DBT stands for “Dialectics”. Dialectics, simply put, is about finding balance and accepting that two seemingly opposing things can both be true at the same time.
So, how can dialectics help you navigate the holiday season?
You’re “Supposed” to be Happy.
During the holidays, there’s often a societal expectation to feel joyful and grateful. For someone with BPD, the season can amplify feelings of sadness, loneliness, or even anger. You might feel pressured to put on a happy face when, deep down, you’re struggling with emotional pain.
Dialectical thinking reminds us that it’s okay to feel both joy and sadness during the holidays. In other words, it can be true that you can appreciate the festive moments while it can also be true that you’re experiencing loneliness and sadness.
Walking the middle path entails being able to find the value of both.
The Pressure to Connect: Togetherness vs. Isolation
The holidays often come with expectations to connect with family and friends. If you have BPD, these interactions can be full of intense anxiety and fear of rejection. You might feel the desire to be close to others, and at the same time, you might worry about being misunderstood or abandoned.
Dialectics helps you realize that you can want connection while also feeling afraid of it. It’s not an either/or situation. You can take small steps to engage with others, even if it’s just a little at a time, while still protecting your emotional well-being. This could mean that you observe your limits with the amount of time you spend at gatherings or perhaps, decide you only want to spend time with special friends and family members.
Expectations vs. Reality: Walking the Middle Path
You may set high expectations for yourself and the overall holiday experience. You might tell yourself that you need to create the “perfect” holiday experience, only to feel disappointed and let down when things don’t go as planned. You may also feel pressure to meet the expectations of family members, leading to feelings of resentment and inadequacy.
As stated above, dialectical thinking reminds us to find the middle path rather than getting stuck in extremes. This means recognizing that the holiday season doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. You can hold both the frustration of unmet expectations and the joy of meaningful moments. By embracing this middle path, you allow yourself to experience the holidays with more flexibility, which can lead to less stress.
Embracing Dialectics through Philadelphia DBT
If you’re finding the holiday season challenging, remember that you don’t have to navigate it alone. Philadelphia DBT therapy can provide you with the tools to apply dialectical thinking to your everyday life, helping you find balance and experience emotional distress during this time of year. By learning to hold two seemingly opposite truths at once, you can reduce emotional pain and approach the holidays with more of a sense of balance.
Philadelphia DBT Therapist
As a DBT therapist in Philadelphia, I specialize in helping people with BPD and intense anxiety find balance through dialectical thinking. If you’re struggling with the pressures of the holiday season, and you feel like you’re losing control, reach out for support. Together, we can work on strategies to help you embrace the holidays and beyond, in a way that feels right for you.
Philadelphia DBT Therapy
As an expert in the treatment of borderline personality disorder and anxiety therapy, I know you’re doing the best you can and yet still in so much emotional pain. I know you want to improve and don’t know what to do. Don’t let the stress of the holidays overwhelm you. If you’re looking for expert DBT therapy in Philadelphia, contact me today to schedule a free consultation.