DBT in Philadelphia can help you tolerate painful problems 

You can’t stop thinking about last night. The hateful words; the way it all went down… You and your beau really got into it last night and you said some horrible things. Now, you can’t stop replaying the words he spewed back at you. He made it perfectly clear that he needs his space and your attempts to reach out to him have been met with silence.

You really want to send more texts and continue to call him to see if he’ll eventually pick up or answer your desperate pleas.

Despite the urgency you feel to resolve this conflict now, you’re at work, and as the department head, you’re responsible to chair the department meeting.

Now is definitely not the time to try to reach out to him. So, how can you possibly continue to function, given all of your demands?

DBT Distress Tolerance Skills: Using Distraction with ACCEPTS 

In DBT, distress tolerance skills are used to help people get through emotionally intense and painful situations without making them worse.

Sometimes paying attention to your stressor is the worst thing to do.

Last week, I wrote about the skill of distraction, specifically when it makes sense to distract. You can read the full post HERE. 

Being able to get your mind away from the stressor, especially when there’s nothing you can do about it, is definitely a valuable skill to have.

In DBT, we talk about distracting using ACCEPTS. A way to remember the distracting skills is to use the acronym, ACCEPTS.

Today’s blog post will be exploring the “A” in ACCEPTS which stands for “Activities”. In other words, using “Activities” to distract you from your current misery.

Using activities can help you distract: The “A” in ACCEPTS

Distracting with activities means you literally do something else to get your mind off of your current problem for a period of time. A note of caution-

The key to using distraction, is that it needs to be time-limited. You do need to process your emotions.

As in the example above, you really want to reach out again to your partner but you’re at work. You also don’t want to be consumed by sobbing in front of everyone at your job, even though you really feel like it.

Your problem is solvable, but your problem is not solvable right now.

When you’re able to use activities to distract from your intense stress, it puts psychological and physical space between you and the stressor. That space created by distraction will actually help you to problem-solve later when the time is right.

Examples of Distracting Activities

So, what are some activities you can use to distract you from your stressor or problem? The options are almost endless. Here are some examples that either my clients or I have found useful.

1. Play a video game for 30 minutes. (My personal favorite is Candy Crush.)

2. Take a short walk outside or go to the gym. (CrossFit workouts are my jam.)

3. Pour yourself and your attention into a task that needs to get done. (Despite stressors, the household still needs to be run. I loathe having to deal with dirty dishes but viewing this task of loading the dishwasher as a puzzle to be solved has worked for me.)

4. Complete a word find or crossword. (This is one of my client’s go-to distraction activities.)

5. Read a magazine article. (My one client prefers reading celebrity gossip as a way to distract.)

6. Color or doodle (You can do this almost anywhere, given that there are even apps for this.)

The types of activities you can use to distract yourself are almost limitless and are amendable to whatever environment you’re in.

DBT Distraction Skill: Using Activities

Using the situation above, let’s flesh this out a little bit. Again, you’re at work and you’re consumed by thoughts about the fight you had with your partner last night. You really want to call and text him right now, but you have to lead your department meeting in the next 20 minutes.

What could you do while you’re at work? Here are a few possibilities. You could go grab a snack from the break room, you could check your email, go for a quick walk around your building, watch a funny video on YouTube, call a friend for a quick chat, or perhaps, throw yourself into prepping for the upcoming department meeting.

When you find yourself in a highly stressful situation and you’re unable to devote the time you want to it, using activities to help distract you is a valuable skill.

Hopefully, this post has given you some ideas to inspire you. Next week, I’ll dive into the “C” in DBT ACCEPTS.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy in Philadelphia

If you struggle with finding peace from your problems, your intense emotions consume you, or your behavior has ruined your relationships, Dialectical Behavior Therapy can help you. You are not doomed to suffer for the rest of your life. DBT has been shown to be effective in the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder, and a variety of other mental health issues.

BPD Therapist in Philadelphia

As a DBT therapist, I specialize in Borderline Personality Disorder treatment and therapy for anxiety. I know you feel like your emotions are out of control and your relationships are suffering. Please don’t wait to reach out for help. Schedule a free Philadelphia DBT therapy consultation HERE.