DBT Skills Training in Philadelphia: Using Skills When Emotions are High

Have you ever been in a situation when you felt so out of control and so overwhelmed by your emotions, that you just couldn’t think straight? I’m going to bet that you have. In fact, I’d bet that everyone’s been there.

During those times, have you done things that you just had to do, and then you ended up making things worse? Don’t get me wrong, most people have acted on their emotions at one point or another. (I have launched a suitcase or two…. But, I digress…)

The problem is when this behavior becomes a pattern for you. Like, when you become emotionally reactive and lose your sh*t more often than not. Even when you “know” better. Even when you’ve had to face negative consequences for your behavior over and over again.

Painful Emotions Really Hurt

I know you’ve tried so many times to NOT do things you later regret. I know you’ve been trying really, really hard, and yet, when sh*t gets real, your willpower goes out the window and you’re left picking up the pieces… again…

Here’s the thing- Even when you “know” you need to do better. Even when you “know” that there are more effective ways to handle yourself, when emotions get intense, you can’t hold it together. The truth is when you are highly emotionally aroused, your ability to think clearly isn’t always an option. If you’re someone who tends to be emotionally reactive, the urge to act impulsively can be almost too difficult to bear.

Emotions & Our Nervous System

Our nervous systems are primarily responsible for communicating, controlling, and regulating other systems in our bodies. Specifically, when your emotions are running high, or you’re experiencing a highly stressful situation, our “fight or flight” responses are kicked into gear.

The sympathetic nervous system is what causes arousal to increase. On the other hand, the parasympathetic is responsible for calming us down.

What if there were a set of DBT Skills that could calm you down fast?

DBT TIP Skills are designed to target your parasympathetic nervous system, by changing your body’s physiological response rapidly.

This means that when you’re in the midst of a highly arousing, emotional, stressful situation, there are ways to help stop you from acting out irrationally and making your problem worse.  

I previously wrote about DBT TIP Skills. Here’s a quick recap.

1.     “T” is for “Temperature”.

2.     “I” is for “Intense” exercise.

3.     “P” is for “Paced” breathing & “Paired” muscle relaxation.

My last blog post talked about how cold temperature almost magically brings your arousal down fast. The “magic” is backed by science.

Today’s post will focus on intense exercise.

An Intense Way to Deal with Intense Emotions

If you’ve ever been in an argument prior to going for a run, you’ve probably experienced the impact your run had on your mood. There’s a scientific reason this helped your mood.

For those of you who know me or have worked with me in the past, you know that I’m a huge proponent of the massive positive benefits exercise has on your mental health. I also practice what I preach.

It turns out that it’s not just a coincidence that intense exercise will help you feel better.

Intense exercise is a DBT skill to help you tolerate emotional distress.

Why intense exercise works.

Remember that your sympathetic nervous system is what arouses you and the parasympathetic nervous system brings the arousal down.

When you’re exercising, your body’s movement is engaging your sympathetic nervous system. The key is that it must be intense for you. In other words, if you’re not someone who typically exercises, any movement which gets your heart and blood pumping will work.

The research suggests that around 20 minutes of exercise- whether it’s running, playing tennis, jumping jacks, weight training, brisk walking, or whatever it is that gets your body moving intensely the key.

Sympathetic nervous system increases arousal and parasympathetic nervous systems decreases arousal.

Then when you stop the exercise, your parasympathetic nervous system will activate, bringing that arousal down.

So, yes, the motivational quote, “You’re only a workout away from a better mood.” is true.

Next week, I’ll dig into the “P” in the DBT Tip Skills.

Philadelphia Dialectical Behavior Therapy

If you’re emotionally reactive and your behavior has cost you your relationships, or made your problems worse, Dialectical Behavior Therapy can help you. DBT has been shown to help people who struggle with regulating and controlling their emotions.

As a DBT therapist in Philadelphia, I love helping highly sensitive, emotionally overwhelmed individuals, regain their sanity, so they don’t feel like they’re crazy, by helping them create a life that’s worth living. You do not need to continue to be miserable, or be hurt by relationships with the people you love the most.

BPD Therapist

My specialties include anxiety therapy and treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder. If you’re ready to stop feeling so miserable, reach out today. I offer free, 15-minute DBT therapy consultations. You can schedule your own DBT consultation HERE, or by calling 717-685-5074.