Managing BPD During the Holiday Season: Reducing Your Vulnerability to Painful Emotions

Autumn is in full swing and the holiday season is upon us. While many people are filled with excitement, you might be feeling a growing sense of dread. If you’re living with borderline personality disorder (BPD), the holidays can be incredibly tough. There are heightened expectations, family dynamics that push your buttons, and the overwhelming pressure to be joyful when all you feel is stress. You’re not alone in this. Many people with BPD find this time of year particularly challenging.

Why Are the Holidays So Difficult When You Have BPD?

It’s “supposed” to be the most wonderful time of the year, right? When you’re dealing with intense emotions, anxiety about family gatherings, and the fear of being let down—again, it can feel almost too painful to bear. Maybe you’ve had a history of feeling left out or misunderstood by your family, or perhaps the holidays bring up painful memories. These emotions can be magnified when you have BPD, making it hard to stay grounded.

You might find yourself swinging between extremes—either trying to be the life of the party or withdrawing completely to avoid any potential conflict. And then there’s the guilt. Guilt for not feeling as festive as everyone else, guilt for the outbursts that seem inevitable when emotions run high.

It’s exhausting.

How DBT and the PLEASE Skills Can Help

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers practical skills that can help you navigate this emotionally charged season. One of the DBT skills that can be particularly effective during the holidays is the PLEASE skills. These skills remind us that our minds and bodies are connected. They focus on taking care of your physical well-being, which in turn, helps regulate your emotional state.

It’s the “taking-care-of-your-body-to-take-care-of-your-mind-skill”.

In other words, getting back to the basics, will help you be less vulnerable to experiencing negative emotions. On the surface, these skills may appear simplistic and yet it can be easy to overlook the basics when you’re caught up in the whirlwind of holiday activities.

Don’t underestimate the importance of these skills. Paying attention to these can make a significant difference.

The PLEASE Skills in DBT

The acronym, “PLEASE” helps us remember each part of these skills.

“PL” Stands for Treat Physical Illness

Taking care of your physical health is super important. When you’re not feeling well physically, it’s going to be that much harder to cope with emotional stress. Whether it’s a lingering cold, chronic pain, or fatigue, don’t ignore your body’s signals. Addressing physical health issues can help prevent emotional spirals that can be triggered by feeling unwell. See a doctor if necessary, and follow through with any prescribed treatments.

“E” is for Balanced Eating

The holidays are often filled with indulgent foods, and while it’s okay to enjoy them, be mindful of how what you eat affects your mood. You also need to be mindful of the urge to under eat as well. Overeating or skipping meals can lead to blood sugar swings, which can make you more emotionally reactive. Try to maintain a balanced diet, and if you’re at a family gathering where food is abundant, pace yourself. Remember, how you fuel your body can have a direct impact on your emotional state.

“A” Means Avoid Mood-Altering Substances

It might be tempting to have an extra drink (or two) to get through a stressful holiday event, but alcohol and other mood-altering substances can intensify emotions and impair your judgment. This can lead to more impulsive behaviors that you might regret later. I am certainly not the alcohol or substance police. The idea here is to know your body, your limit, and to be mindful of how substances will impact your ability to deal with stressors. Substances will have an effect on your emotional vulnerability.

“S” Stands for Get Enough Sleep

Lack of quality sleep can make anyone irritable, and if you already struggle with intense emotions, it can exacerbate emotional instability. The holiday season can throw off your sleep schedule with late-night parties or stress-induced insomnia. Prioritize rest. Create a bedtime routine that helps you wind down, and don’t be afraid to say no to late-night plans if it means preserving your emotional well-being.

“E” Means Exercise Regularly

Moving your body daily is extremely important for everyone. Exercise is a powerful tool for reducing your vulnerability to experiencing negative emotions. During the holidays, it can be easy to skip your regular workout routine, but try to stay active, even if it’s just a short walk or some gentle stretching. Exercise helps burn off some of that extra energy from heightened emotions, making it easier to stay calm.

Philadelphia DBT Therapy: Supporting You Through Holiday Chaos

The holidays don’t have to be a time of overwhelming stress and emotional upheaval. By incorporating DBT skills like the PLEASE Skills into your routine, you can navigate this season with more stability and confidence.

If you’re struggling to cope with the emotional challenges of the holiday season, Philadelphia DBT therapy can help. As a Philadelphia DBT therapist, I specialize in working with individuals who have BPD and struggle with anxiety, to help them manage intense emotions and build healthier relationships.

Philadelphia DBT Therapist

The holiday season can be tough, AND you don’t have to go through it alone. If you’re ready to take the next step in managing your BPD, navigating debilitating anxiety, and finding balance in your life, reach out today to book a free DBT CONSULTATION. Let’s work together to make this holiday season a little brighter.

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