DBT in Philadelphia: Why do my emotions make me act so crazy?

Understanding emotional reactivity

You wish you could just erase last night. You feel so ashamed of yourself. This was not the first time you behaved this way.

Things started out ok. You and your partner had tickets for the game last night and planned on having a fun night out. You should have realized that things wouldn’t work out the way you had planned.

Things took a turn for the worst around half-time when you noticed your partner engaged in a “way too friendly” exchange with the attractive girl sitting next to him. You don’t know what came over you when you stood up to confront them for flirting right in front of you. God, you screamed at them to “just get a room already”!

You won’t ever forget how they looked at you; like you were crazy.

Before you could think, you took off. You didn’t know where you were going. You just knew you had to get out of there.

Your partner found you about an hour later, almost a mile from the stadium, sitting on the curb crying. You found out that the “way too friendly” convo was actually about how the two of you met. You also found out that not only was your partner looking for you, but so was the girl he was talking to, along with her boyfriend…, and… the police.

It was mortifying and humiliating. You felt so ashamed of yourself. How could this happen again? 

BPD & Emotional Reactivity

Of all the personality disorders, borderline personality disorder is one of the most complex and arguably the most misunderstood. My clients often ask, “Why am I like this?” As I’ve mentioned before, this is a valid question and does not have a simple answer.

As I talked about in my last blog post, I talked about the role of high emotionally sensitivity in BPD.

Emotional Reactivity and Impulsivity

For someone who has high emotional sensitivity, they may also be prone to impulsively acting on those emotions. That is, some people’s biological makeup (how their brain is wired) contributes to how they respond to powerful, intense emotions. In other words, they are more vulnerable to emotional reactivity.

The bottom line is some people who experience dysregulated emotions often have trouble refraining from acting on urges caused by emotions.

Identifying high emotional reactivity

You may already be highly emotionally sensitive. How do you know if you have high emotional reactivity? 

1.     You find it hard to inhibit behaviors.

As in, you don’t experience dealing with mild worries but feel it’s almost impossible not to have full-blown panic attacks, which makes it almost impossible to not escape or avoid whatever is causing your anxiety. Or, perhaps when you’re really pissed off, it takes almost every ounce of your soul not to yell and scream, throw an adult temper tantrum, or punch someone in the face.

It feels almost impossible to restrain impulsive behaviors.

2.     You are more likely to do things that get you in trouble.

Meaning, when you’re angry, you get furious and say or do hurtful things. Perhaps, your impulsivity caused you to lose relationships or get in trouble with the police. Your impulsive behavior made your problems worse which left you feeling embarrassed or ashamed.

3.    It feels like your behaviors often come out of nowhere.

You may have noticed that your behavior appears out of the blue or your friends said that you are unpredictable.

4.     Your moods get in the way of organizing behavior and achieving goals.

Your extreme moods become so overwhelming to you and others that you’re unable to do what’s needed or stay on top of your responsibilities. Your mood and emotions get in the way of being effective and they create more problems for you.

5.     You have trouble controlling behaviors that are linked to your moods.

It’s like when you’re so emotionally distressed, you act on your emotions. Your behavior is dictated by how you’re feeling. This can change many times over the course of the day. Your mood drives your behavior.

You are not doomed to be at the mercy of your emotions forever. If any of the above resonates with you, you may be a candidate for Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

The Role of Emotional Reactivity in Borderline Personality Disorder

If someone is biologically predisposed to emotional reactivity or impulsivity, does that mean that person has BPD?

NO.

What if someone is biologically predisposed to emotional reactivity or impulsivity, AND is highly emotionally sensitive, does that mean the person has BPD?

NO.

The reality is that despite someone being biologically predisposed to high emotional sensitivity and/or impulsivity, there are several key variables that impact someone developing borderline personality disorder. BPD is a very complex disorder and involves a lot of moving pieces and parts, including someone’s biology and environment.

Having a sensitivity to emotions and biologically wired to be impulsive, are only two pieces of the BPD puzzle.

Philadelphia DBT can help you become more effective.

You can learn how to regulate and control your emotional behavior through DBT. I know you don’t want to sabotage relationships and create more problems for yourself. Through DBT therapy, you’ll be able to experience your emotions without letting them take over. You can create a life worth living.  

DBT Therapy in Philadelphia

As a DBT therapist, I specialize in borderline personality disorder treatment and therapy for anxiety. If you want to learn how to be more effective in managing your emotions and behavior, reach out today. I offer free consultations for DBT and they can be scheduled HERE.