Monday Mindful Moments: Just Listen

Mindfulness Practice: What NOT to do.

Shhh… Did you hear that?

How often do we go about our busy days without actually listening? You may have even been accused of “not listening” when your partner or kiddo was trying to tell you something. You thought you were, and then you were interrupted by the sound on your phone, letting you know you got a text. The next thing you knew, you were scanning through the text you just got, when you felt a tap on your shoulder- your partner, asking if you were even listening, who was obviously annoyed (and justifiably so) that you weren’t paying attention to what they were saying.

I have a confession to make.

I made a similar mistake just recently with my daughter. She had been so proud of the progress she made on her online RPG (role-playing game) and wanted to show me all of the characters she had accumulated. Let’s be honest, while I totally understand why she gets so absorbed by her online gaming, my ability to completely focus on what she’s describing, (with all of its RPG terminologies in its fantast realm, that frankly is like a foreign language to me) is limited. But, hey, I love her and I’m trying (oh so trying) to remain engaged in this RPG she spends so much time playing online. I digress…

So… I thought it would be completely ok to just check my recent online “shopping cart” of CrossFit gear I planned to purchase. I mean, I, for some reason thought that I’d still be able to listen to her explain why this “God-like” character could use this or that power, but this demon slayer character can only do this one thing, or that this other character, the one “who makes bombs as her form of attack” is the one she hoped to acquire.

As a therapist who regularly practices mindfulness and uses it as part of my work with my clients, I can’t fathom what made me believe I could do this. When you’re practicing mindfulness, you’re paying attention to the present moment. For me, at that time was paying attention to my daughter’s words, especially when that particular verbiage was not familiar to me.

The bottom line was that I. WAS. BUSTED. My daughter, who is totally a “therapist’s kid”, so appropriately and eloquently said to me, “Mom, I know you have stuff you want to look at, but when you’re looking on your phone, I know that you aren’t completely able to pay attention to what I’m trying to tell and show you.” Wow, so true, so true. On top of that, she used “I statements”… Again, I digress…

So what did this little, embarrassing, interchange demonstrate? It beautifully demonstrated how, despite trying to pay attention to the “now”, I was distracted and pulled into something else.

Mindful Listening

For today’s mindfulness exercise, I want you to take at least 5 minutes and just listen. You can do this outside or inside your house, alone or with someone else, any time of day. Find a comfy spot where you can sit upright and just take few seconds to just breathe and ground yourself. Then, while using your breath as an anchor, just pay attention to all of the sounds you hear.

You may, initially, feel like you’re in complete silence. Just continue to listen and pay attention to the sounds all around you. Do you hear far-away traffic, voices in the distance, or maybe a nearby tree’s branches rustling in the breeze? At the very least, you’ll be able to notice the sounds of your breath as you breathe in and out.

Practicing Mindfulness: Notice Your Thoughts

At times, we all have difficulty paying attention to the “here and now”. When practicing mindfulness, the idea is not clear your mind or only think about positive things. Thoughts WILL continuously come and go in your mind. That’s ok. As I mentioned in a prior post, the idea is to notice when you’re getting pulled away by acknowledging those thoughts and gently bringing yourself back to the present moment.

DBT Therapy in Philadelphia

As a DBT therapist in private practice, I love helping people learn about how mindfulness can bring peace and reduce the “head trash” we carry with us. If you can relate to this post or have enjoyed it, please share it and follow me on Facebook.

Philadelphia Dialectical Behavior Therapy

Mindfulness practice is a huge part of DBT. As a DBT therapist, I specialize in borderline personality disorder treatment and anxiety counseling. If you’re wondering if DBT is right for you, you can schedule a free consultation. My therapy consultations can be booked HERE.