The Borderline Experience: The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

Emotion Dysregulation: BPD’s Most Prominent Symptom

You’ve been told you are “Bipolar” or that your moods make it hard to be around you. You think you may have a problem with anger and are irritable all the time… or, that your anger has gotten you in trouble before- like, to the point where you’ve lost friends due to the words you slew at them in an argument, or during that time your temper flared so high that there’s now a hole in the wall staring at you, evidence that you lost your shit.

You’re emotionally reactive and you don’t know why your emotions and feelings seem to control everything you do. Honestly, it could literally be anything that sets you off and triggers that explosion- from the way she looked at you or how he complimented how the bartender was dressed. And, it’s not just the intense anger, (although that’s a huge piece of it), it’s the high anxiety, overwhelming sadness, non-relenting guilt, and all of the other “not so fun”, oh so painful emotions that just seem to take over. It feels like one little thing, just flips a switch and you’ve taken off on the emotional roller coaster again.

It’s so hard to cope with painful emotions.

There’s just so much emotional suffering. You’ve tried to ignore your feelings and judged yourself so harshly for not being able to just switch them off. It’s so f’ing exhausting and no one seems to get it. No one seems to get that your extreme behaviors are the way you try to help yourself or get others to help you not be in such emotional pain.

Emotion Dysregulation Disorder; a more accurate term for BPD

Emotion Dysregulation is the hallmark symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s so profound, that a more accurate term would be Emotion Dysregulation Disorder.

People with BPD have a high emotional vulnerability, meaning they are “highly sensitive” and have problems regulating their emotions (i.e. managing their feelings in appropriate and healthy ways). Their emotions feel so intense and overwhelming, that they don’t have the skills (yet) to cope with them, hence, they react to their emotions. In other words, their behavior is mood-dependent.

From the Borderline’s perspective, they experience a distressing feeling, don’t know how to cope with it and before they know it, their behavior changes to reflect that feeling. It’s as though they become their emotion.

Dr. Marsha Linehan describes the Borderline experience with emotion dysregulation best-

People who have a loved one or are in a relationship with someone with BPD often describe their experience as “walking on eggshells” (because it doesn’t take much to provoke an emotional response), in an effort to not “set them off”. To most people, these rapid changes in mood appear to be extreme and “over the top”. These seemingly “out of nowhere” emotional expressions can be symbolically compared to that of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Emotional Dysregulation: Symbolic Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

In this classic story, Dr. Jekyll is a kind, caring doctor who, in an effort to repress his “darker side”, creates a serum in an attempt to mask his darker persona (a.k.a. Mr. Hyde). The novel describes Dr. Jekyll’s efforts to keep Mr. Hyde hidden deep within himself. Initially, Dr. Jekyll’s efforts appear to work as he’s able to literally keep Mr. Hyde from surfacing. However, as the story progresses, Dr. Jekyll becomes increasingly unable to maintain control over Mr. Hyde. Subsequently, Mr. Hyde becomes stronger- so much so, that Dr. Jekyll loses all control and literally becomes Mr. Hyde.

As with Dr. Jekyll, someone with BPD attempts to maintain control over all painful emotions or feelings deemed as “bad”, such as anger, guilt, frustration, or sadness. Whereas Dr. Jekyll concocts a serum, a Borderline individual will often instruct herself to simply not feel a particular way, in order to solve the problem of having to experience the “bad” emotion.

As with both Dr. Jekyll and someone with BPD, their efforts to overly control or hide the parts of themselves (i.e. “Mr. Hyde” or painful, “bad” emotional experiences) are unsuccessful. For the person with BPD, this exercise in control becomes impossible to execute- They already are emotionally vulnerable and the sudden appearance of extreme behavior is their effort to both take care of themselves and to let those around them know to take better care of them. Remember that a Borderline individual is already emotionally intense and has issues managing emotions, so anger would obviously be included in this. For the people involved in the lives of both the Borderline individual and Dr. Jekyll, the sudden appearance of an emotional expression appears just as unexpected and “out of the blue” as that of Mr. Hyde’s sudden appearance.

For both Dr. Jekyll and the Borderline individual, their efforts to hide, ignore, avoid, escape or mask parts of themselves are not successful. Such as with Dr. Jekyll whose efforts to keep Mr. Hyde hidden, end up with disastrous results, a Borderline individual’s behavior and subsequently life, end up being controlled by those very same emotions she has tried so hard to get rid of.

There is hope & effective treatment for BPD

As a DBT therapist, I provide online Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), the “gold standard” of borderline personality disorder treatment. Here’s the thing-

I know you’re trying your best. I know you want to improve your life.

I get it.

I get that you feel like relationships only bring pain. I get that you’ve tried other ways to solve the problems in your life, only to make things worse. I get that you are desperate for approval from the people you love the most and yet you keep pushing them farther and farther away from you.

I get that you don’t want to just keep existing in a life that only seems to bring hardship and pain.

When you work with me, your DBT therapist, you can learn practical skills to help you find relief from your emotional suffering, strengthen your relationships, ditch the destructive behavior, and find acceptance and peace within yourself.

As a DBT therapist, I help people who are struggling with intense anxiety & suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, create a life worth living.

DBT Therapy in Philadelphia, Lebanon, Harrisburg, Lancaster, and York.

My specialties include anxiety therapy, DBT for BPD, and trauma counseling.

Your overwhelming, painful emotions don’t have to run your life. You deserve to find relief from your emotional suffering and can learn the skills to cope with life, build healthy relationships, and have a life worth living. Give me a call today at 717-685-5074 or click here, to schedule your free, 15-minute, video consultation.