Maybe you’re in a Relationship with a Drama Vampire

Your relationship has problems.

Something doesn’t feel right and you know something’s wrong. You just can’t put your finger on it, but whenever you’re with this person, you feel drained, mentally fatigued, and don’t know what to do.

We all know those people who are considered to be “toxic”. One form of relationship toxicity is that of a “Drama Vampire” (aka “Emotion Vampire”).

What is a Drama Vampire?

For most people, when they think of a typical vampire, picture someone with fangs that lures unsuspecting people into their clutches, in order to feed on their victim’s blood. This type of vampire uses his/her good looks and charm to pull in their victim in order to satisfy their cravings for blood.

Not unlike regular vampires, “Drama Vampires” also have an insatiable craving. These vampires crave chaos and drama. They are the people that seem to have the uncanny ability to “pull you in” to whatever drama they’re experiencing and then “feed” on the chaos they’ve created.

Drama Vampires are the people that somehow manage to sneak into our lives, seemingly innocently at first, yet before you know it, they’ve inflicted us with their own perpetual drama, trying to reel us into their hot mess.

They seem to thrive on chaos, most of the time due to their own doing, yet don’t understand how they play a part in their own misery.

Know the Signs

You will literally feel drained.

Not from the blood of course, but emotionally drained. Often without you realizing it, an emotional vampire will enter your life and before you know it, you’ll feel the emotional fatigue set in. It will feel like you’re doing most of the work in the relationship. That’s because you most likely are.

How to protect yourself

Here’s what you can do.

Here are a couple of simple, (yet often difficult to implement), ways to combat and protect yourself against the emotional drain.

1. Emotional Self-Care:

   The concept of caring for yourself cannot be overstated. Specifically, emotional self-care means just what it says— you’re prioritizing your own emotional needs.

   It means:

   —scheduling time for yourself every. single. day.

   —allowing yourself to experience an array of feelings (not just the “good” ones) and not constantly trying to avoid “negative” ones

   —seeking out counseling when needed

   —being aware of your own emotional needs and how to nurture them.

2. Setting Healthy Boundaries-

   Most people enjoy being able to help others. I totally get it- I’m a therapist for cryin’ out loud. By setting personal boundaries, you’re attending to your own emotional self-care. You have limits on what you can give. Think about it like this:

   ***We all carry around a figurative “cup” which when full, allows us to “be there”, attend to, or care for other people the best that we are able to. Our “cups” are the “emotional bank accounts” from which we are able to be our best selves. They’re “investments” into our overall wellbeing that continue to be filled when we practice self-care by:

   —attending to our physical needs/getting exercise

   —spending time with loved ones

   —building positive relationships

   —doing things we enjoy, and

   —eating a balanced diet, just to name a few.

   When we neglect taking care of ourselves by not making “deposits”, our “cups” begin to empty and we end up with a half-empty “cup” or not much left to give.

   So, setting healthy boundaries means you are not carrying around a half-empty “cup” by continuing to do for others at the expense of your own wellbeing.

   This can mean:

   —saying “no” to something you don’t really have time for or want to do

   —not sacrificing your own needs despite what someone else wants

   —realizing you are under no obligation to do a favor for someone just because they ask

   —choosing not to engage in gossip or “picking sides”

   —distancing yourself from “negative vibes”

There are countless ways in which you can self-care and knowing what you need to be your best self only enhances your ability to protect yourself from a “Drama Vampire”. The last thing you need is to be pouring from a half-empty cup when you yourself need to drink from it first.

To learn more about taking care of you while detaching from a toxic relationship, click here.

Philadelphia DBT Therapy Can Help

If your relationships are causing you emotional pain, there is hope. You can find and keep healthy relationships with others. DBT therapy is available and can help you solve the problems in your life that are causing you so much pain.

I provide virtual, online, Dialectical Behavior Therapy in Philadelphia, Harrisburg, Lancaster, York, and Lebanon, PA. My specialties include treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder and anxiety therapy. If you’re worried that your current relationship is toxic and need help, I specialize in helping people, like you, who want to break free from the drama and chaos.

Your Philadelphia DBT Therapist

As a DBT therapist, I provide consultations for BPD treatment, DBT therapy, and therapy for anxiety. You can book your own DBT consultation HERE or by calling 717-685-5074.