When Life Hands You Lemons (in the form of covid-19)

The pandemic has been crazy-making.

During these crazy-making times due to the COVID-19, it can be extremely difficult, if not feeling like downright impossible to see the “bright side” of a situation like we’re currently in. When you already suffer from anxiety, struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder, or dealing with past trauma, it can feel so impossible to cope with the pandemic.

Toxic Positivity

You may have heard that you should just need to “be positive”, or to “think about the bright side”. We all know that this doesn’t always work. You may even wonder why you can’t just simply change your thinking. Here’s the thing.

Life sometimes sucks.

The fact is, is that life isn’t just sunshine, rainbows, and puppies. So, telling someone to simply “stop thinking so negatively” just won’t cut it. I mean, sometimes, things just suck.

Recognize and acknowledge the crappy stuff too.

Trying to dismiss a shitty situation, by “thinking positive”, won’t be helpful.

Acceptance is key.

What is helpful is to accept that the scenario is shitty, while also using that seemingly shitty scenario as an asset. I love this quote from Marsha Linehan, founder of DBT, which explains this concept perfectly.

“…finding the silver lining without denying that the cloud is indeed black”

(With permission), here’s a real-life situation.

My client has been in the process of downsizing and moving. She’s extremely overwhelmed with the idea of having to do so much while also looking for a new home. To summarize her experience, she expresses the enormity of just how much she has to pack up and even the thought of doing so has caused panic attacks.

Finding Acceptance

During a recent session via Telehealth, she disclosed that due to the forced business closures following the COVID-19 pandemic, she has been unable to work and has been stuck in the house.

Creating Lemonade

There’s no doubt about it. My client’s situation is definitely not ideal and is causing her excessive anxiety. It won’t help her right now for me to tell her “it’s not that bad” or say something like, “at least you have a home”. That’s completely invalidating to her personal experience of something that really does feel awful to her.

What is more effective and helpful?

Accepting the situation as awful and overwhelming, AND, recognize a great way to “lean into” the discomfort of practicing a new coping strategy to help her with her anxiety.

You can see by the above example that no one is denying the fact that COVID-19 has created problems for my client, yet the situation has also provided an opportunity to practice a new skill.

Another example of making lemonade despite the pandemic can be seen by the business owner and hairstylist, Laurie Endy, of Cypress Hair Studio. Due to the mandated, temporary closure of her business, she is not able to continue to see her clients. Despite this major wrench in her business, Laurie was able to explore another business venture. She just launched “Project Love, Aid & Earrings”, which provides her with income and the ability to help those in need.

Again, no one is saying that these scenarios don’t completely suck. What I am saying is that they suck AND provide an opportunity for growth.

DBT Therapy in Philadelphia, Lebanon, Harrisburg and Lancaster

Need help learning to Make Lemonade?

If you’re tired of people telling you that “you’re too sensitive” and to just “think positively”, and want to learn practical, real-life ways in which to cope with the pandemic, reach out today.

I specialize in the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder using DBT, therapy for anxiety, and trauma counseling. Call me or click here to schedule your free, 15-minute, video consultation for therapy.