Can you change the way you feel?

Emotions… They're fine when they feel good.

But the ones that feel horrible…

You know, like when you feel anger, guilt, sadness... Sometimes, these unpleasant emotions need to be tolerated. But, what if you'd like to change how you're feeling in the moment? Would you? Could you?

Coping with painful emotions

That's what today's post will help you do- give you a "tip", "hack", "strategy" to do just that--- change how you're feeling.

What emotions are for-

What good are emotions, anyway?

Emotions communicate so much and influence our behavior towards ourselves and others.

Emotions are useful- they provide us with information.

Our emotional reactions can help us get out of danger or provide us with the motivation to overcome obstacles.

Sometimes we have behavioral "urges" (emotional reactions) that are associated with certain emotions and are "hard-wired" within us. While these behavioral "urges" can help motivate us to work towards a goal AND they can also not be so helpful.

Emotions can feel unhelpful.

Think about the last time you felt angry; like really, really pissed off. Were you able to manage your anger appropriately, or… did you happen to launch a suitcase down the stairs? (BTW, that was a purely hypothetical example...)

We all have had moments when we felt emotionally dysregulated and behaved inappropriately. Most people have had those "once in a blue moon" moments when we acted out on emotion. I'm sure we can all agree that sometimes, allowing your emotions to take the reins is not always the best option.

How to deal with painful emotions.

What do you do when you're faced with an emotion and your "hard-wired urge" is not the best way to handle your feelings? 

Here's a very common scenario. You're feeling real "down in the dumps" and feeling all sorts of sorry for yourself because your best friend ditched you at the last moment, on top of the fact that your boss gave you some not so wonderful "constructive criticism", and to top it all off, you just realized that your funds have gone dry...

Your initial "urge" may be to climb back into bed, pull the covers over your face, and stay there, hiding from the world.

You know you don't want to feel this way.

Dealing with emotional pain with Philadelphia DBT

Part of DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) skills training aims to help you manage your emotions in an effective, appropriate way, instead of allowing your emotions to control you. Here’s the unbelievably simple (although not easy) concept of-

Opposite Action- Behave or act in the opposite way you are currently feeling. 

Take the feeling depressed example above- do the opposite action of climbing back into bed, and hiding from the world.

Become active. Do something which makes you feel confident and competent.

Sometimes you gotta "act as if". Force yourself to do the opposite of what your mind is urging you to do. Your brain will catch up and before you know it, you'll be feeling better. Maybe not the best you've ever felt——at least better than you were feeling earlier.

If you're not familiar with how awesome Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is, check out this prior post here.

"Opposite Action" is an emotion regulation technique practiced and used in DBT skills training.

DBT Therapist in Philadelphia, Lebanon, Lancaster, York, Harrisburg, and Lebanon, PA

If you feel that your emotions are controlling your life, and you want to learn additional ways to help manage them, give me a call at 717-685-5074 or click here to schedule a free, 15-minute, therapy consultation.

My counseling specialties include Borderline Personality Disorder treatment, trauma counseling, and anxiety therapy.